A Blowjob is Supposed to be Without Your Hands

What kind of edibles month would this be at the Dirty Birdies blog if there wasn’t a post full of things that would make most people think twice about ordering in front of family, coworkers, clergymen, and some flightless animals? No kind of a month at all, that’s what. Which is why I’ve sacrificed myself to bring you twelve arbitrarily selected and raunchy-named drinks.

I was especially amused that the drink recipe websites are always so very quick to say OMG, we have no idea where these names come from! Yet, when you think of it, it’s usually the bartenders making the drinks up. Just a thought to ponder.

Anyhow! Be sure to let me know which ones you like best. I’m going out tonight, and need to know what I want to order. I’ve already had #4, #6, and #8. #6 is fun to order in a strip club, BTW. Just sayin’.

Disclaimer – there’s a lot of booze listed here. Please drink responsibly, and only drink if you’re of age to do so. Not that I was doing either of those the first time I had a #4 in front of me (the drink!), but you get the point.

Here, have some mood music:

1. Clit Lickin’ Cowgirl

1 oz Butterscotch Schnapps
0.75 drops Grenadine
1 oz Irish Cream

Mix together with crushed ice in a glass and garnish with mint leaves, or serve in shooter. VARIATION – Leave out the grenadine and mint for the Cock Sucking Cowboy!

2. Tie Me to the Bedpost

0.5 oz Melon liqueur
0.5 oz Coconut rum
0.5 oz Sweet and Sour mix
0.5 oz Citron vodka

Shake with ice and strain into a sour glass.

3. Black Leather Whip

0.25 oz Grand Marnier
1 splash Orange juice
0.25 oz Sweet and Sour mix
0.25 Triple Sec

Mix together with crushed ice in a glass and garnish with mint leaves.

4. Blowjob

1 part Coffee liqueur
1 part Irish cream
1 part Peppermint schnapps

Mix together in shotglass, top with whipped cream. Take shot without using hands – mouth only.

5. The Naughty School Girl

0.75 oz Mango rum
0.75 oz Watermelon vodka
0.75 oz Pineapple juice

Shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into glass.

6. Sex on the Beach

1.5 oz Vodka
1.5 oz Peach schnapps
0.5 glass Orange juice
0.5 glass Cranberry juice

No mixing. Add in any order.

7. Orgasm

0.5 oz Irish cream
0.5 oz Amaretto
0.5 oz Coffee liqueur
Cream to fill (see alternate)

Can be layered if you’re ambitious – most bartenders won’t unless business is slow. Otherwise, mix liqueurs in shaker with ice, strain into glass and fill with cream if desired. ALTERNATE – Top with whipped cream for that white-stuff-on-your-lips effect.

8. Silk Panties

0.75 oz Vodka
0.75 oz Peach schnapps

Mix with ice, streain into shooter. Delicate, smooth, can get you in a hella lot of trouble. ALTERNATE – I have seen recipes also using peppermint schnapps, so feel free to experiment. But remember that the sweetness of the schnapps will mask the taste of alcohol, so don’t do ALL of your experimenting in one night!

9. Cum in Your Panties

1 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with coffee cream (no cream, use milk)

Layer into a shooter gass.

10. A Piece of Ass

0.75 oz Amaretto
0.75 oz Southern Comfort
1. oz Sour Mix

Mix with ice and strain into glass.

11. Sloe Comfortable Screw Against the Wall

0.5 oz Sloe Gin
0.5 oz Southern Comfort
0.5 oz Galliano
Fill with orange juice

Add to tall glass with ice, garnish with cherry.

12. Bald Pussy

0.5 oz Midori
0.5 oz Lime vodka
0.5 oz Triple Sec
0.5 oz Blueberry schnapps
Splash Roses Lime juice

Mix all ingredients with ice, strain into shooter.

BONUS RECIPE:

Because I love me some gingers…

Dirty Red Headed Slut

1 oz American whiskey
0.75 Chambord liqueur
0.75 oz Southern Comfort

Shake with ice, strain to shooter.

Sources:

Here, here, and my own misspent time getting the courage up to do karaoke.

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