Would you like to see my melons?

I have no idea what to post about today.

No, really.

I was up until a stupidly late hour and still could barely sleep last night, unable to focus on anything, because I I was too excited about today. What’s today, you might ask? Well, two things.

For starters, today I posted a free read over on the Truly Madly Deeply Romance Authors blog. I’m kind of spastic about it, too, because I totally love this story and I want the whole world to read it because it’s THAT AWESOME. It’s got m/m romance and sex and music. What more can you ask for? So go read it, and leave me a comment, yes?

Secondly, today is my birthday. So far, I’ve ingested far too much caffeine, sodium, and cholesterol, and it has been GLORIOUS. In a few hours, we’ll be heading out to go to some beer expo, so I’ll be able to add alcohol to my list of excesses for the day. Birthdays rock. I get to completely ignore all of my physician orders in favor of being as naughty as I wanna be. WIN.

Speaking of naughty foods… Here are a couple of foods that look awfully familiar to me, though I wouldn’t recommend alternative uses for them…

The Oyster

Long known for it’s aphrodisiac qualities and allegedly increasing one’s potency, the oyster is no stranger to the world of “sexy” foods. But this particular diagram really, erm, illustrates why it’s so prized for it’s sexual qualities. Still, I’d much rather the real thing. Despite the way some romance novels have heroines gushing like they’ve busted a valve somewhere, girly bits are much less squishy than their mollusk impersonators.

 

Image by Brocken Inaglory (Wikimedia Commons, Creative Commons License)

Peter Peppers

No. Really. That’s what they’re called. And just like the part they resemble, they come in all shapes and sizes, too!

The Peter Pepper is a spicy little number, rated at 10 times spicier than the jalapeno. With capsaicin that hot, you could easily be burned while cooking with them if you handled the cut peppers bare-handed! What this means, is that no matter how naughty these bad boys look, you might want to stick with the recommended usage (oh, come on. Don’t tell me you didn’t think of it).

Can you think of any other foods that look naughty?

Also, and this is a friendly warning, do be cautious when searching for foods that look like the hoo-ha. I may not be able to eat cucumbers for a while.

Elizabeth Silver is an author of m/m erotic romances and can be found here, on UrbanSilver.net, and on Twitter as @LizSilverWrites. Add her on Twitter and say hi to be added back!

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